You have heard me write probably more than you need about how amazing this life is. It’s true, I am in love with it. The freedom to travel, the unbelievable places we visit and the memorable people we meet along the way. I try to keep it real and never gleam over the fact that oftentimes, especially in cities or on rainy days, it’s claustrophobic as hell and cleaning is a constant battle. But I never really talk about one of the biggest battles in this life. The truth is, this one leaves me vulnerable and I am sure you’re not here to read about the down times. Regardless, here it is.
Vanlife is lonely.
I know, I am constantly beside Myles, how can it be lonely. I am always writing about how we meet and talk to new people every single day, that doesn’t sound lonely. Well, it is. It is weird to me that my life feels so very on display that I never have privacy and yet still feel lonely.
Myles said to me one day “you know you’re great and all but I wish I had another opinion.” How true those words are, it actually shocked me. I may have been thinking it, but hearing him say it aloud reaffirmed just how lonely this life gets sometimes.
There are some things I just don’t want to talk to Myles about, you know those things you need a girlfriend for. Well in this life, I can’t just show up at my best friends door. If I have a question, Myles opinion is the only one I get. Sure, it is a great opinion and one I value more than any other, but sometimes you just crave a friend.
While we still have our friends, texting them isn’t as good as the real deal and sometimes it gets to us. We have learned that one of the best ways to combat this is to get a WiFi plan and message our friends whenever we start to feel lonely (sorry Courtney for the constant chatter).
We tend to feel less claustrophobic in this life and generally just worlds happier in the forest, but the downside of this is that we lose our reception and therefore our lifeline to our friends. Doing things independently, such as taking our dogs on a hike, even for a short time typically fixes this as we come back breathless from explaining all the cool things we found.
A side effect from this loneliness that has both good and bad repercussions is that we have learned about each other on such a deep level. This has brought us closer than we ever could have imagined but also caused some strife. I know what Myles is thinking by a mere face twitch now.
From someone like me who seems to never shut up to someone like Myles who is a man of few words, it is interesting to me that at times he feels the affects more than I do. I believe it is because I am constantly either chatting his ear off, telling long elaborate stories to the dogs or writing so much that my fingers feel they may fall off. Sure I may drive him nuts or look crazy when sitting on the grass talking to Roxy but for me it works.
Every life has pros and cons but for me the freedom I feel and the ever changing backdrop is a pro that far outweighs any con I am yet to find.
Very interesting perspective that not a lot of people would share. Thank you for letting us all in to see your crazy beautiful adventure and not just the candy coated version of a story. I love that you guys really tell it how it is and your honesty with your audience is amazing.
Thank you for your support! This life has more pros than cons, we find. But that isn’t to say that there aren’t many adjustments we needed to make. The good news is we are finding that we are getting better and better at this lifestyle and at adjusting every day. Just as in any new change, it takes a while to work out the kinks.
I think it’s amazing that you both have created this life where you can learn so many life lessons without the interference of having to live by what society says you have to do. The power and responsibly of choices you make in your life have direct consequences. To share your experiences with an audience gives us, the audience the feeling that we too can choose to be “free”. Thanks for that!
The truth is, living a life without society’s influences will be a constant work in progress. Just about everything we do is influenced by great (and for the most part greedy) minds. Recognizing it is the first step we have found and taking baby steps to think for ourselves is what we have done. Adapting to a life of minimalism has been our greatest helping factor in this. To make the change, the hardest part was convincing ourselves that we could do it and ignoring all the doubt placed on us. Escaping to a life with less noise has been the best thing we have ever done and a large part of it was inspired by your escape into the mountains so thank you for that. It has been eternally valuable to us both. <3
You never have to apologize for chatting with me! I need just as much as you do <3
Haha thanks girl! We should write a book! 😛